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September 28, 2006

「おまえは幼稚園児か」~海月ルイの言葉~

 以前、「自分探しは嫌いです」という作家海月ルイ氏の意見に感銘を受けたことを記した。
http://take-t.cocolog-nifty.com/kasugai/2006/03/post_6fab.html
 
 9月27日の中日新聞夕刊のコラム「紙つぶて」で、今度は海月氏が「おまえは幼稚園児か」というすごいタイトルで、世の甘ったれを糾弾していた。
==================
 いい大人が「僕は誉められて伸びるタイプなんです」と言っているのを聞くと、「おまえは幼稚園児か」と怒鳴りつけたくなる。
 誰でも褒められればうれしいし、気分がいい。だから人は、社交辞令で褒め言葉を口にする。これは社会の常識で、その言葉が必ずしも真実でなくとも問題はないという暗黙の了解がある。(中略)
 「褒めて育てる」というのは、あくまでも幼稚園か小学生、せいぜいが中高生までの子供に対する躾や教育の方法である。いい大人がそんなことを他人や世間に期待するものではない。

===================
 「自分探し」と称して今の自分を見つめようとしない若者を糾弾した視点と同じだ。
 そして、それは「ナンバーワンよりオンリーワン」を言い訳にして自分を高める努力を怠る若者を糾弾するのと同じ視点である。
 「ほめてやらねば人は動かじ」は、山本五十六の言葉である。
 でも、それは指導者側のポイントだ。
 「ほめてもらわねば自分は動かじ」と自分で言い切ってどうするのだ。
 
 「がんばれよ」と声をかけられれば、辛くても再びパワーがわいてくる。
 しかし、だからといって「『がんばれよ』と言われないとがんばれない」では、お話にならない。
 「ありがとう」と言われれば、誰だって悪い気はしない。
 しかし、だからといって「『ありがとう』と言われないと何もできない」では、お話にならない。

 「褒められて伸びるタイプだ」などと豪語する人は「褒められないと伸びないタイプだ」と自分の欠点を表明しているようなもので、ライバルひしめく世界だったら、けなされて奈落の底に落とされてしまうだろう。
 他人の言動に過度に期待する生き方は、結局、他者依存というマイナスを背負うことになる。
 自分の人生を他者の言動に左右されるのは、ひどく損な生き方である。
 

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