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October 28, 2010

「隠徳」について

 あるところで「陰徳」という言葉を聞きました。

 さりげなく・人知れず「善行」を積む。見返りを求めることなく「陰徳を積む」。

 うーん、難しい。
 自分は人間ができていないからでしょう。
 自分が気づいて何気なくした行為を決してひけらかすつもりはありません。
 でも、「褒められればうれしい」し「評価されればうれしい」という邪念がなかなか捨てられません。
 
 たとえば運動会前の最終準備。
 打ち合わせが終わった後、校舎周辺・来賓駐車場や来校者の導線を考えて1人で掃除をしました。最後は2Fの職員室から運動場に降りる階段の砂埃を取りました。
 
 誰にも見られずに淡々と行った作業ですが「見られること」を拒んでいるわけではありません。
 やっぱり心の片隅には「認められればうれしい」という邪念があったことは否定できません。
 そもそも、「自分は陰徳を積んでいる」って思うことも「邪念」の一部に思えてしまいます。
 陰徳を積んでいる自分に自己陶酔してしまったら、本末転倒です。
 
 「自分は人間の出来が悪いから、邪念を捨てられないのは仕方ない」

と開き直った時、ふと思いました。

 「今、校内の掃除をしているのはダイエットのためである。」

 自分自身のダイエットのためにやっているのだと思えば、人に見られようが見られまいが一切気にならなくなりました。
 いい格好しい、でやっているのではない。
 「自分のために」やっている。
 「自分のダイエット」のためにやっている。

  自分にとっては、それが精神衛生上、一番都合のいい結論でした。

 ミスチルの歌に「彩(いろどり)」があります。
 これも、1つの「陰徳」の発想です。
 ミスチルは

「誰が褒めるでもないけど
小さなプライドをこの胸に
勲章みたいにつけて

僕のした単純作業が
この世界を回り回って
まだ出会ったこともない人の
笑い声をつくっていく」

・・・「そんな些細な生きがいが日常に彩りを加える」
と歌い切ります。

 人の役に立つことが「小さなプライド」「些細な生きがい」・・・僕は、これも「潔い決断」だと思います。

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誰に褒めてもらうためにブログを書いているわけではありませんが、誰かの役に立てたらこんなうれしいことはありません。

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